The Journey
Updated: May 18, 2021
Sometimes we just need a space to feel completely connected. A space where we feel secure, supported, seen, and heard. But at all times we should know that we already have that space within ourselves ~ Jamey Martell
I’m here to help you with finding that space!
Hi I’m Jamey here’s a little of my story below...
Over the years my life has been a journey filled with challenges, heartbreaks, good times and bad. Born and raised in a small town of South Carolina in the late 80’s. I grew up poor but blessed to have a roof over my head even if it was a trailer. We always had food and water and luckily an extended family that tried to help when they could.
I came into this world with cleft lip and had to undergo plastic surgery within the first few months of my life. Needles to say, I came out with a bang haha! I was born to a father that was an addict and a single mother who worked most my childhood away. I remember being in a car crash and thrown from flipping vehicle at the age of 6, yet somehow came out of it completely unharmed!
With that being said, I know there’s a reason for my life on this earth!
I was raised in a religion that taught me a lot about discipline, respect, and the idea of a “god”. I feel as though the traditions and beliefs my family carried also influenced feelings of unworthiness and doubt to consume my being over time. I also believe it was part of my purpose to break that ancestral pattern of beliefs by eventually stepping away from that religion. It left a few scars to say the least.
By the time I was 12 years old I had become the victim of statutory rape and had my first child at 13. This caused my family to undergo a thorough investigation. I remember my father swearing me to secrecy, making me promise not to say anything that would put my brothers or myself at risk of being placed in foster care. I had to hide and lie on so many subjects. I had put us in that situation so it was up to me to get us out I felt. I also had to be the one to sit my brothers down and tell them what I had done the day after finding out that I was pregnant. I remember coming home from school every day and my mother crying over the possibility of losing everything as well as her only daughter‘s future being destroyed. My siblings and I were nearly taken by the state and I blamed myself for all of it! I felt as though I had disappointed the church, my family, and my friends. I felt like the black sheep, the sinner of all sinners, and a disgrace to everyone around me.
After the dust settled from me becoming a mother and my parents becoming divorced for the second time. I carried on in life. I finally started physically going back to school after being homeschooled during the pregnancy. I thought to myself that my life wasn‘t over after all, I got married at 15 and had two more children, I dropped outta high school and got my GED to stay home with my children because we couldn’t afford childcare. That was my first actual relationship ever and I made a ton of stupid mistakes, destroyed my credit, and then became divorced by 24. I even got married again by 28. Only to turn around a year later and become divorced again.
The list could go on and on.... my point is I’ve been through some shit.
Through those experiences and many more, came ptsd, anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, confusion, and overwhelm to the point of complete exhaustion. I had lost a ton of weight that I couldn’t afford to lose, struggling with multiple health issues and no one knowing why or what was wrong. By the age of 30 years old, I was a complete basket case. I didn’t like the medications my doctors would prescribe, they made me sick and even more unhealthy. It seemed that healthcare only wanted me to try a new pill. I had to stop and ask myself what the hell was going on. Can’t I be better without forcing some chemical substance in my body? Why did my life always seem so hard? What had I done to deserve this life that felt like a punishment? Why me?
I was a single mom of 3 children that had to learn who the hell I was and what I was going to do next. It wasn’t getting any prettier at that point. My life felt like a constant uphill battle with struggle after struggle.
That’s when all the bigger questions boiled to the surface. It was time for a change. I was alone and feeling helpless but something inside kept pushing for me to keep trying. Something inside kept telling me that happiness was definitely within reach. I just had to figure out how to touch it. It wasn’t until later that I realized I already had all the tools in my belt to make the differences I so desperately needed. I realized that my life was so hard because I was my own worst enemy. The thoughts and beliefs that I discovered myself having were actually keeping me trapped. I was manifesting all of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I did NOT love me.
So I made small changes one by one and continued onto a new journey of self discovery. That’s when the magic started to happen.
My thoughts were becoming more positive. my emotions no longer controlled me. I no longer doubted my worth or my value. I learned about forgiving myself for all the shit that I was blaming myself for since I was a little girl. I learned how to calm myself down in the middle of a full blown panic attack. I learned how to rid myself of insomnia, I even learned how to meditate and do some yoga practices. Journaling taught me how to reflect on my thoughts and really see what I had been believing all my life about myself. I started to believe in me again, I believed I could make a difference not only in myself but I could make a difference in the world!
Eventually, I became an Integrative Healing Arts Practitioner so that I could help show others, like myself, how to get out of the trapped, repetitive, negative cycles in our lives that seem to never end. I want to show you how to tap into your inner being and listen to who you are. I want to show you how to love yourself in the way that you should have been doing all along. I wanna show you how to love yourself in a way that maybe you were never shown before. I was able to discover myself again and I want to help you do the same. If you have experienced trauma or noticed that you just don’t know what else to do, click over to my website under the bookings section and set your appointment for that free consultation with me. Allow me to hold space while you walk through your own journey of self discovery!
www.refinedmindllc.com